she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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