make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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