possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
