Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
smell my finger.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
