You can't motorboat a personality
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
