Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
