Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
