He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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