sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
