Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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