Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Crop dusting thru forever 21
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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