Got a toothbrush?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
