Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
