ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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