I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize