Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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