It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
