Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
