I think I am morally bankrupt
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
