She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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