I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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