What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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