New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize