god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize