I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize