i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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