Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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