honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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