I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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