so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
