Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How naked do you want me to be?
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