We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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