Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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