once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
