Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
