well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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