Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
