you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
