Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
