Buhtt sex?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
there is glitter all over my balls
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
