But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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