I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm like, not good at living.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
