I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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