Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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