so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
