I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
