hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
