i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
