the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
