I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
