you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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