did you get engaged???
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
