I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
