her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
