Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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