dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
