i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
