so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize